Gw cuman mau bilang.. I think about him all day.. But didn't have any guts to tell him right away.

Though I was so happy talking to him last night and sent and received sms from him till dawn.. I learnt my lesson, better play my card carefully

So.. I think this is the only safe place where I can say, that I missed u, and I want to c u.

Note: Sama kayak banjir yg diramalin bakal melanda jakarta, I've been through this before.. yes.. 4 years ago..

Balik dari ambil contact lens di PS kemaren tiba2 HP gw bunyi.  Nomernya dari kepala 2..gak jelas.  Siapa ya?? Ternyata cw n nyebut nama panggilan.  Gue tanya dari siapa? Jawabannya ngeselin banget, "dari temennya".  Iya siapa, ini ****, ini siapa?  Gw bertanya layaknya orang guoblok.  Naa yg hodob siapa? Dia jawab, Ini R**.  Perasaan gue gak punya temen namanya itu.  Trus gak lama dia bilang, sebentar ya... Trus telp berpindah tangan, trus terdengar suara seseorang yg gue emang udah lama banget ga denger, makanya gak langsung ngenalin.  Trus dia bilang, thanks ya ucapan Natalnya sambil juga nyebutin siapa dia.

Damn!! The timing couldn't be more perfect.  I was w/my bf at that time.... Lalalalaa..... Terjadilah percakapan aneh (buat gue), gak tau dia ngerasa apa nggak.. Cuman garing aja.  I was trying not to make my bf suspicious, but most of the times it even made more obvious . Banyak yg kudu dipikirin, mulai dari ekspresi wajah, nada suara...

Conto percakapan garing:

- Eh, tempat lo mo grand opening ya?

+ Koq tau?

- Iya, baca di *****, katanya ada si ***** mau dateng... Emang dari dulu belun grand opening?

+ Belum, baru soft opening.. Dateng yaa pas ada ***** (dia nyebut salah satu band terkenal di Indonesia)..

- Kapan? Gue mau ke *****

+ Tgl segini, elo pergi kapan? Bisa kan?

- Iya deh, ntar gue ajak temen gue..

Padahal gimana juga gw mau dateng... too ribet.. Abis itu gw buru2 udahan, which made the conversation even more garing .  Padahal (kayaknya sih) dia masih kepingin ngomong..

It's not that I didn't think of him lately.  Or from time to time.  After what happened last year, eventually this time of the year will remind me of him.  Remind me of what happened on his bday... But I restrain the urge to call him.  I didn't even send him a message on his bday this year. It's not that I don't want to, but maybe things will be less complicated this way.

Abis kesannya dia ge er banget gitu, kalo gw suka ama dia.. Gak harus dong.. Although.. Needless to say.. Cuma kan ga berati gue pingin jadian ama dia. Plisss... Gue cuman penasaran doang.. Gitu loh!

aku ingin mencintaimu
dengan sederhana
dengan isyarat yang tak sempat disampaikan awan kepada hujan
yang menjadikannya tiada.
(Aku Ingin, Sapardi Djoko Damono)

"Masa ada orang namanya "Sampe Tua Tambunan"..........kalau dipikir sih bener juga....sampe tua juga dia seorang tambunan, masa mau berubah jadi silalahi or simatupang or simanjuntak????? Kecuali dia perempuan kali ya terus dikawinin ama orang yang marganya lain..."