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Tuesday, December 27, 2005
A reminiscence of an episode
Balik dari ambil contact lens di PS kemaren tiba2 HP gw bunyi. Nomernya dari kepala 2..gak jelas. Siapa ya?? Ternyata cw n nyebut nama panggilan. Gue tanya dari siapa? Jawabannya ngeselin banget, "dari temennya". Iya siapa, ini ****, ini siapa? Gw bertanya layaknya orang guoblok. Naa yg hodob siapa? Dia jawab, Ini R**. Perasaan gue gak punya temen namanya itu. Trus gak lama dia bilang, sebentar ya... Trus telp berpindah tangan, trus terdengar suara seseorang yg gue emang udah lama banget ga denger, makanya gak langsung ngenalin. Trus dia bilang, thanks ya ucapan Natalnya sambil juga nyebutin siapa dia.
Damn!! The timing couldn't be more perfect. I was w/my bf at that time.... Lalalalaa..... Terjadilah percakapan aneh (buat gue), gak tau dia ngerasa apa nggak.. Cuman garing aja. I was trying not to make my bf suspicious, but most of the times it even made more obvious  . Banyak yg kudu dipikirin, mulai dari ekspresi wajah, nada suara...
Conto percakapan garing:
- Eh, tempat lo mo grand opening ya?
+ Koq tau?
- Iya, baca di *****, katanya ada si ***** mau dateng... Emang dari dulu belun grand opening?
+ Belum, baru soft opening.. Dateng yaa pas ada ***** (dia nyebut salah satu band terkenal di Indonesia)..
- Kapan? Gue mau ke *****
+ Tgl segini, elo pergi kapan? Bisa kan?
- Iya deh, ntar gue ajak temen gue..
Padahal gimana juga gw mau dateng... too ribet.. Abis itu gw buru2 udahan, which made the conversation even more garing . Padahal (kayaknya sih) dia masih kepingin ngomong..
It's not that I didn't think of him lately. Or from time to time. After what happened last year, eventually this time of the year will remind me of him. Remind me of what happened on his bday... But I restrain the urge to call him. I didn't even send him a message on his bday this year. It's not that I don't want to, but maybe things will be less complicated this way.
Abis kesannya dia ge er banget gitu, kalo gw suka ama dia.. Gak harus dong.. Although.. Needless to say.. Cuma kan ga berati gue pingin jadian ama dia. Plisss... Gue cuman penasaran doang.. Gitu loh!
Posted at 09:36 am by oesyil
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Thursday, October 27, 2005
I was stumbled by this poem during my blogwalking to a pre-wedding blog suggested by Pak de Kere. To quote Pak de's comment, it is hopelessly romantic.. ;)
I remembered read it before, but couldn't really figure out where... yet.. still amazed...
aku ingin mencintaimu
dengan sederhana
dengan isyarat yang tak sempat disampaikan awan kepada hujan
yang menjadikannya tiada.
(Aku Ingin, Sapardi Djoko Damono)
Posted at 01:09 pm by oesyil
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Friday, October 21, 2005
Gue nemuin satu blog yg kewl buanget namanya post secret. Isinya satu on-going community art project yang isinya tentang sharing rahasia lo anonymously di balik post card yang lo bikin sendiri. Yang kewl lagi.. Kartu pos itu dikirim ke si Frank, artis yg ngerjain art project ini. Really cool! n kartu posnya itu asli.. keren2... Katanya sih mau dibikin bukunya.. kalo mau pesen uda bisa tuh.
Ada satu kartu pos yg agak2 pas ama gue..
Sorry to say.. but that's how I feel for my dear best friend sometimes. Masalahnya adalah we do adore the same guy. Secara gue udah punya co n temen gue juga baru merit... Still...
I cannot help n be that kind of girl.. Emang pada dasarnya gue penjahat.. Hiks..
Posted at 07:57 pm by oesyil
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That was the subject of email I just received from my colleague. I thought it was related to my story in this blog about how I accidently hit my boyfriend when I tried to park my car.
Actually it was something else... and it was hillariously funny..
"Masa ada orang namanya "Sampe Tua Tambunan"..........kalau dipikir sih bener juga....sampe tua juga dia seorang tambunan, masa mau berubah jadi silalahi or simatupang or simanjuntak????? Kecuali dia perempuan kali ya terus dikawinin ama orang yang marganya lain..."
Posted at 03:16 pm by oesyil
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Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Kemaren malem pas nemenin co idola makan malem di kantin kampus, tiba2 dia nanya "Ce tu bisa ya suka ama orang laen biarpun udah punya anak? Anaknya uda kuliah.." Ya bisa lah kata Oesyil dengan sok taunya.. Apalagi anaknya uda gede. Masalahnya orang suka lupa mikir.. Is it real? Maksutnya apa perasaan yang dirasakan saat itu akan tetap ada buat selamanya atau cuma sekedar kekaguman sesaat aja..
Bisa jadi real.. Maksutnya kita bersedia mengorbankan perkawinan yg sekian lama (Imagine.. anak udah kuliah, bo... Berarti udah kawin paling nggak 17-18 taun..) untuk seseorang yg kita ketemu belakangan, dgn alasan yg terahir ini ternyata emang jodoh kita... Bukan gak mungkin lho... I know for a fact a couple that got married in their 40's after divorcing their former spouses and masi langgeng ampe sekarang.
Yang gue khawatirin cuma typical kebodohan wanita.. Merasa nggak puas dg pasangan sekarang trus melihat seseorang yang sering ketemu di kantor, yg (sok) care, jauh lebih menarik dr pasangan di rumah (iyalah org ketemu di kantor kan pasti pake baju rapi and wangi trus), lebih OK, enak diajak ngomong, etc standar para buaya lainnya, trus lupa deh.. Trus dipikirnya co itu tertahan langkah karena posisi kita sbg ce yg ga available.. trus kita usaha deh membebaskan diri dari ikatan.. ya ikatan dr pasangan or perkawinan... Pdhal sebenernya co yg kita sukain ini nggak mikir ke situ.. Orang cuma mau iseng2 senang2.. mikir2 sejuta kali kalo tnyata ntar kita udah beneran avail...
Jadi Oesyil bilang ama co idola.. Coba si mbakyu ini, yg indikasinya menunjukkan ingin putus tali cinta dgn sang misua, mikirin lebih jauh lagi.. Apa bener laki2 yang dijatuhi cinta belakangan ini adalah the knight in shining armour, soul mate yang katanya bukan nggak ada tp susah ketemu dan kadang telat (kitanya udah keburu berikrar janji dgn yg lain).. Bukan sekedar playboy cap duren tiga.. or co tebar pesona kayak co idola.. haha..
Posted at 10:50 am by oesyil
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Tuesday, September 27, 2005
There is nothing I can do now other than listening to this song and imagining your smile under that tree...
I DO HATE U FOR MAKING ME FEEL THIS WAY!!
Now I will tell you what I've done for you
50 thousand tears I've cried
Screaming deceiving and bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom
I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under
Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
So go on and scream
Scream at me I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe - I can't keep going under
On Fallen - track 1 - released 2003. This track was released in identical form as the second single.
Lyrics © Amy Lee / Ben Moody.
Posted at 12:23 pm by oesyil
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Monday, September 26, 2005
Have you ever want to kiss someone so bad that your heart ached?
It is so sad that he is so close n yet so far...
I know there is nothing happened between us.. there is nothing in store..
But is it wrong to feel what I feel... to want him close in your heart.. to hold him near... to see that face when u open your eyes in the morning.. to see that smile over n over again... not only for a moment... but forever..
I heard that song from one of the shop @ bakungsari street (the very particular song that always remind me of u)... n could not help but thinking of u...
Oh how desperate a soul can be..
So pathetic..
I HATE FEELING THIS WAY...
Posted at 12:06 pm by oesyil
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Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Hey..
Just wanna tell u that I think I do like u..
More than probably u know or even I know...
Tell me.. Qu'est que je dois faire..
Mendingan belajar buat kuis ngkali.. :))
Posted at 05:35 pm by oesyil
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Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Dissapointment often results from asking too much
Last week was not quite good for me plus the whole week was a disaster...
Found out co idola macan kampus finally jalan ama si geblek... Biarpun gak pegi b-2an still... mreka pegi titik. Masih ada ketidakjelasan, soalnya si co idola ngomong ke gue, jumat pas libur itu si geblek nelp n ngajak jalan. Sementara dari informan gue yg disuru menggali dr si geblek, si geblek bilang co idola yg udah dr pagi sibuk telp2 nanya jadi mo jalan gak buat bayar kalah taruhan...
Critanya co idola ngajak geblek tarohan kalo nilai ujian trakhir geblek pasti lebih gede.. Hmm... apapun yg tjadi it will end up with co idola jalan ama geblek, nevertheless siapapun yg menang... Damn!! He's good...
Feeling gue sih bilang kayaknya co idola yg boong. Trus trang gue sebel abis denger crita itu. Apalagi trakhir2 co idola sring gak masuk, trus sok kayak ktimpa masalah besar gitu... Sampe mau ngerjain tugas bareng aja ribet banget...
Untuk menghibur hati yg sedih, gue end up with shopping. Udah ke Zara yang di Plaza Indonesia? Duh, serasa surga dunia.. Tp lantaran buru2 gue cuman beli 1 celana doang. Abis itu gue masi beli 2 selop. trus hari berikutnya gue ke PS n belanja lagi.
Ternyata sengsara blun brahir, bok.. I found the fact that the guy I have feelings for quite sometime...mmmm how am I going to say this..
I have a very close friend.. a girl.. For quite sometime I have already disturbed by the fact that we have same interest to one particular guy. Although none of us are available, n there is nothing could happened, still I don't like the way she is pretending.. the way she keeps on denying...
Biarpun gue tau kalo sebenernya mereka sering telp2an, email2an, etc.. I meant it's like that there is no other people in the world n they are using the "L" world... What the f***!!!
That day I spent more time in Zara.. Bought more clothes.. As if in those clothes I could confide all my sorrow... Why should I end up with this feeling??
Later that night, I was sitting there in front of my TV & watching one of the Rockstar INXS finalist, Suzie, singing "I can't make you love me if you don't.." and could not help and admitted that I was sad..
Posted at 12:25 pm by oesyil
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Monday, August 29, 2005
Lunch bareng si co idola n tebar pesona abis, dia dibombardir ama telp ama si mbak jutek. BTW, I'm not supposed to call her "mbak". Soalnya ternyata she is younger than me, tp koq mukanya tuak banget yak.. Haha.. Mbak jutek marah2 ama co ganteng lantaran katanya dia menyebarkan brita gak bener tentang si mbak jutek. Katanya orang2 di kantor taunya si mbak jutek ngejar2 co idola n ngajakin pacaran.. Lah, pan emang iya demikian adanya.. Si Bodoh Oesyil membatin.. Daaa.. maksutnya buat gue aja yg jarang ketemu ama si mbak jutek itu tuh obvious banget.. apalagi buat temen kantornya, secara ketemu tiap hari gitu LOH!
Lanjut.. Si co idola mulain kesel.. n bcritalah pada Oesyil, tragedi Mbak Jutek n of course gue nyambungin ama sms2 yg gue baca di HP co idola (crita lengkapnya ada di A change of heart). Brcrita betapa dia (maksutnya mbak Jutek) sms2 bilang kangen n segala macem, sering ngajak tidur (uups, Oesyil malu..hehe..) sampe akhirnya ketauan ama ce nya si co idola dan ramelah mereka berdua.. Maksut gue di sini, ce si idola dan mbak jutek.. Ih, gak level yak.. Gue inget film Cabo I di mana Meriem Bellina n Ayu Azhari brantem ngrebutin si Boy, n Mer nangis2 ke nyokapnya "Gak level, Mom.."
Telp2 yg seharian itu berkali2 menggempur co idola diakhiri dengan co idola, mbak jutek dan teman kantor mereka janjian mau ketemuan buat menclearkan masalah..
Duh, pusing banget sih.. Maksut gue maunya si mbak jutek tu apa sih.. Menurut co idola, mbak jutek mau meng-clearkan bahwa bukan dia yg ngejar2 co idola n ngajakin jadian tp sebaliknya, dst, dsb, etc, jeung rea rea deui... Aduh, ada ya orang yang kayak gini.
Gue sempet comment sih, knp sih si ce-nya co idola sempet2nya nge-labrak mbak jutek n sempet rame juga, maksut gue.. kenapa gak ce itu ngomong aja ama si co, betapa gak sukanya dia dgn kelakuan si co idola, toh kalo menurut gue gak kan ada asep kalo gak da api, iya gak sih...
Trus si co idola yg ganteng n tp abis ini bilang kalo, "si itu juga bukan ce gue, dianya aja yg ngerasa..." Duengggg.... Huaduh..
At the end, gue cuman bisa ngerasa kasian ama ce si co idola yg lantaran ngerasa gak secure ampe kudu ngelabrak mbak jutek, ama mbak jutek yg walowpun dah bermisua masi ngejar2 brondong ampe setengah gila.. ama co idola? There is nothing I can say about him.. Soalnya biar gimana sebenernya diem2 Oesyil nge-fans juga ama dia.. Walowpun ogah disamaratakan dengan fans clubnya.. BTW udah bisa bikin fans club ya.. abis di kampus juga banyak kan yg nge fans ma dia... Wuahahahhaaaa.......
Posted at 10:21 am by oesyil
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